Tips for Foster Dads

·         Be proud.  You are doing a wonderful thing for the world by caring for foster children.  Take pride in what you do and be proud of who you are and what you do.

·         Be supportive.  You are most likely not the primary caregiver in your house.  Be supportive of your partner.  Make sure that they get the care they need and you as well as the children will be well cared for.

·         Get support.  As for all foster parents, you need to network.  You need to have a friend who is also a foster dad.  You will feel less alone, better supported and more understood.  The best bonus is that as you share stories you may find that you really don’t have the most difficult child after all!

·         Keep it safe.  Today’s world is a scary place.  Not only are a lot of child abused but a lot of parents and caregivers are accused of abuse and neglect.  Keep it safe by only showing appropriate affection to the children in your home.   It seems unfair to have to hold back in your affection for a child but in foster care it is always necessary to draw boundaries.  This will keep you and the child out of harm’s way.

·         Focus on the partnership.  Your marriage or partnership needs to come first.  Make sure that you go out without the children.  Do kind things for each other and always be considerate of the other’s feelings.  The best advice we can give is to not take things personally.  After a primary caregivers day at home with children they are exhausted and often ill tempered.  If they say things that are out of line, don’t take it personally.  Try to let it roll off you.  You will be glad in the long run and the other person will thank you.

·         Keep perspective.  Always remember why you chose to do foster care or adopt in the first place.  If you have a child in your care that is acting out, be mindful of what the child has been through that is possibly causing the disruption.  It all stems from somewhere and unfortunately the foster parents get to deal with the damage.